Monday, February 23, 2009

Why Not to Clean

This post could be about Kristen and the fact that she goes to this church for the free food. 
But it's not. At least for now. 

So I am just chillaxin after a long day. Today I cleaned areas that haven't been looked at, let alone cleaned, since we moved into this house almost 4 years ago. Yikes. I dusted (if you can call it that) the top of the armoire. 4 years of dust. Yuck. I took apart the fan and gave it a good detail. I threw away a bunch of random things like baskets and candles and little stuffed bunnies (why do I have little stuffed bunnies in MY room?) and the like. I'm so over baskets, candles, fake flowers, ceramic figurines; basically anything whose main function is to attract dust. I put Laura, from Little House on the Prairie, in a box. I'm not going to throw her out...she is "Laura"  after all. Oh, I loved those books. When we go camping there is a tiny part of me who still pretends she is Laura. You don't have to tell me that's weird. I know. 

I cleaned out the humidifier. If I could invent the self-cleaning humidifier I would and I would be a rich woman. What is all that un-identifiable crusty gunk? But the good part is making my house smell like a swimming pool with all the bleach in the bathtub. Yum. I cleaned out the dirt cup thing in the vacuum cleaner twice. I love cleaning out that dirt cup. It's the best part of vacuuming. Not that there really is a "best" part of vacuuming, but if there were... Something about unlocking the little dirt holder and dumping it out and pulling out the filter and scraping and shaking the accumulation of dust off is oddly satisfying. I always want to vacuum it clean, but then I realize that what I want to vacuum IS the vacuum. What I really need is 2 vacuums in tandem. (That would be my 2nd idea for an invention in one day; how DO I come up with this stuff?)  (And how can I take these ideas and turn them into cash?)

I had 28 to be read books next to my bed; piled on, around, under, and next to my bedside table. Those are just the books: there were also a bunch of magazines and yet another cute, albeit dusty, bunny.  I shelved a few books, threw out the magazines (that was the hardest thing to do), and tossed the bunny. Then I stacked the 25 remaining books very symmetrically. They will stay that way for approximately 24 hours. 

All this before 2 p.m. I forgot to mention that Wes played fake sick today so he was kind of hanging around with me doing the fake sick thing. I have to pretend like I think he is sick, but he knows that I know that he isn't, and I know that he knows that I know he's not sick, but sometimes a kid just needs a day off. I think. 

But now, instead of reveling in my accomplishments I am not. Why? Two reasons: one, I am suffering either from food poisoning or something else that is causing my stomach to feel like it is doing jumping jacks inside my gut. Reason number two would be the fact that today I lost THE DIAMOND FROM MY WEDDING RING! And when I say THE, I mean the BIG one in the middle. (BIG in relation to the other teeny diamonds around it). And that is one want there is no turning into a need, no matter how I try. 

So, today, instead of a post where I explain all about the epiphany I've recently experienced, I wrote about the day where I cleaned where no man has cleaned before, recognized someone needed a day off, ate Rice Krispies for dinner, and lost a treasure. I gave up the baskets, the bunnies, the magazines, and some ceramic figurines; did I have to lose my diamond too?

Did I?

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